Right Now
by grafitti dust
Summary: sequel to "dark blue". both serena and darien struggle through their feelings towards each other. not knowing they're both having the same conflicts. what happens when it all comes down to it? will they admit it, or let fate have its way some more? [may
1. Prologue

Title: Right Now  
Rating: PG-13 for now. Possibly R later.  
  
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Notes: I wasn't intending on doing a sequel to my previous songfic "Dark Blue", however I   
started to think about it, and decided that there needed to be more. You might want to read  
that prior to this in order to get some understanding, but if you don't - oh well sucks for  
you. This will take place after that story, and right before/up until when Darien gets  
captured by Beryl, and they get their memories of the Silver Millennium back - well the whole  
Serena is the princess and Darien is her prince. You get the idea. Enjoy! Oh wait, before  
you start - this switches POV, so it's not in anyone particulars. Now you can read.  
  
--------------  
  
Song: Now  
Artist: Def Leppard  
  
I wanna know you better  
Let's spend some time together  
I wanna be what's on your mind  
Look in my eyes, they're calling  
I need your love to fall in  
If you could just give me a sign   
  
I can't get over baby  
I can't get over now  
I can't get over this feeling I feel   
  
Now, right now  
If the fire inside you  
Feels like I feel now  
Right now  
Deep inside of me  
Deep inside of me  
  
I'm tired of make believin'  
I'm lost and barely breathing  
I'm on the ceiling, help me down, yeah, yeah  
So stop my heart from aching  
I'll be the risk you're taking  
And I won't rest until you're mine, oh  
  
I wanna show you baby  
I wanna show you now  
I wanna tell ya this feeling I feel  
  
Now, right now  
If the fire inside you  
Feels like I feel now  
Right now  
If it's love you're craving  
It's a love worth saving   
  
Can't get over this feeling I feel now, yeah   
  
Now, right now  
Let the fire inside you  
Burn like I do  
Now, right now  
If there's a love you're craving  
It's a love worth saving   
  
Deep inside of me  
Deep inside, deep inside of me   
  
Deep inside, deep inside of me  
Deep inside of me  
Deep inside  
----------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
It's ME again:  
  
You'd think after talking with him, he'd be nicer right? Wrong. I guess I'm just  
going to be wrong about everything when it comes to Darien Shields. I thought I got to him,  
you know? I thought he actually started to care a little, that we could become friends. I  
was wrong as usual.  
  
You know, it's been a month since he decided he was going to try and take his own  
life. A month since I tried to help him realize that was never the answer. So what, I'm a  
ditzy blonde, but you'd think he'd realize there's more to everyone - including himself. Of  
course not! Not once, since that night I spent the night with him, has he called me by my   
first name. No, it's still Meatball Head.  
  
So, I know I shouldn't let him frustrate me like he does, but I can't help it. All  
I want from him is to be nice to me. Well, that's not all, but it'd take a miracle for  
anything other than that to happen. Actually, it'd take a miracle for that to happen in the  
first place. God, why did you let me go on and care about that jerk? Why do you continue  
to let me love him? Is this all there's ever going to be? Anger. Fights. Tears. That's  
all that I'm going to get out of him, isn't it?  
  
It sucks, you know. All month long I've sat awake going over everything that went  
on that night. It was like I saw another side of Darien, the side that I always want to   
see of him. The part of him that has emotions, the part that can care for someone besides  
himself. Ok, he cares about Andrew - but other than that? Is there anyone else that he  
could ever care about in any way besides him? Just because he's been alone his entire life,  
doesn't mean he has to stay alone forever.   
  
Why can't I be the one to take away his lonliness? He'd never feel the same way   
towards you Serena, that's why. How could he ever love a 15-year-old child? He's too smart  
for you, too mature. Too gorgeous. You can't even get passing grades in school. You're  
immature - Raye's right about that. I'm just a meatball head who can't even walk without  
falling.  
  
I still want to be there for him. To be the one to take all the pain away. Is it  
so wrong to feel like this? Is it so wrong to want something so bad, you'd do anything to  
have it? I may not be the most beautiful girl, nor the most intelligent, or graceful...but  
I still can dream. Dream of him. The only one who could ever get to me like this.   
  
Gee, and everyone swore that Tuxedo Mask was the only guy I'd dream about. Hah, who   
cares about him anymore. Ever since that night I haven't thought of him. Ok, that's a lie.   
He still saves me every time I'm in trouble. He's still a mystery to me. But now there's a   
real guy to dream about. Someone I can freely give my love to; if only that were true. I'd  
have a better chance with Tuxedo Mask than with Darien.  
  
I should stop thinking like this for tonight. I barely get enough sleep as it is   
right now, with all the youma attacks and everything. Maybe I'll run into Darien again on  
the way to school. Hah, that's for sure. Then again, maybe he'll actually be nice to me.  
Time to wake up from dreamland Serena.  
  
Anyways, I'm off to bed. Another day in the life of Serena Tsukino has gone down  
with the rise of the moon.  
  
-Serena  
  
********************************************************************************************  
  
Yeah:  
  
Never thought I'd be the type of person to keep one of these lying around. I guess  
it's better than feeling like you're crazy of course. Then again, I probably am crazy, and  
I'm sure anyone would agree if they ever read this. Who would've thought I'd fall in love.  
Destined to be lonely and depressed for eternity. Maybe that would've been easier than being  
in love with a golden-haired angel. I feel almost dirty admitting it, you know? Here I am,  
18-years-old, in college...and I'm in love with a junior high girl. If this were America,   
I'd be breaking the law for feeling this way.  
  
Of course, she just dropped in my life when I'd least expected it. Damn test paper  
combined with her bad aim. Just had to hit me in my head, didn't she? Couldn't leave me  
alone with my miserable life, could she? Now here I am, helplessly in love with her, and  
what can I do?   
  
That night she saved my life, she also changed it in so many ways. She made me feel  
things I never would've thought I could feel. When I held her in my arms that night, it just  
felt right. There's no words to describe it. The next morning was awkward. I mean, what  
do you say to someone you've been torturing daily, after one night of being nice. What should  
I have said? 'Hi, I'm in love with you. I've always been in love with you, which is why I  
would always tease you.' Yeah right, like she'd want to hear that from me. How could she   
ever love someone like me.  
  
Then, I just go on being an idiot to her. Doesn't she realize I'm only like that to  
hide her from the truth of my feelings? How I wish I could just apologize for everything.  
Tell her she means the world to me. Maybe that would make it better? Yeah Dare, and then  
you wake up man. She'd be scared. Would run away from me forever. I'd rather have her in  
some way, then no way at all.  
  
I think it's time I get some sleep. This saving Sailor Moon is starting to get tiring.  
Not that I'd change it for the world - I just wish it was Serena I held in my arms every night.  
Nah Tuxie, you gotta remember you're out to find the Silver Imperium Crystal to free your  
Princess. If only she was Serena as well. Oh well, you can't get everything you want in life.  
  
Time for bed. I'm out.  
  
-Dar  
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Notes: So that's my lame excuse for a prologue. Yeah, I really should finish my other story  
before starting a new one, but I can't help it. I just got the idea, and had to roll with it.  
I'll try not to drag this out too long. What am I saying, it'll prolly take forever to get  
finished. Hey, if you're nice and review - tell me what you like, don't like, and what you  
think I should do - it might come out faster. I do take bribes btw. ;) 


	2. Chapter One

Title: Right Now  
Rating: PG-13. R for language. I'm not sure if I'm going to change the rating to R, unless  
it becomes more that. Hey, PG-13 movies have bad words in it too! =P  
----------------------  
[CHAPTER ONE]  
----------------------  
  
'Another day in the life of Serena Tsukino,' I thought to myself. I don't know why,  
but I just can't seem to make it to school on time, so yet again I'm in detention. On a  
better note - in some way or another - I didn't run into Darien this morning. Of course I   
was still late, go figure. Detention. The worst word in any dictionary around the world.  
You'd think that if a person hates school in the first place, they'd get nothing out of   
staying there even longer, right? Obviously, the person who came up with the idea of   
detention didn't really think things through too much. Oh well.   
  
"Serena, you can leave. Hopefully I won't have to see you in here tomorrow," Ms.  
Haruna announced, breaking me out of my thoughts.  
  
"You know, just as well as I do, that I'll be here tomorrow," I replied back while  
gathering up my stuff and throwing it into my bag. "Besides, sometimes I think you enjoy  
keeping me here after school. Though I don't know why."  
  
"Funny."  
  
"I try."  
  
"See you tomorrow Serena. Try to get to class on time," Ms. H reminded me the same  
way she always does.  
  
"I can't promise anything," and with that I left that godforsaken place.  
  
Temptation. I know that right now, if I were to go to the arcade, Darien would be   
there. Don't ask me how I know this, it's just simple theory. He's always there at the  
same time every day. Just like I'm always in detention and get there at the same time   
every day. You'd think, if the guy really didn't want to be around me, he'd leave. But of  
course not. Always there. Sometimes I wonder if it's on purpose, or if he's just not as  
intelligent as previously thought. Although, I do wish it was because he wants to see me.  
Yeah, and then I wake up again.  
  
***************************************************************************************  
  
  
Torture. I guess I've become accustomed to that idea, since I put myself through it  
daily. Think about it. There's something you want so much, that you'd stop at nothing to   
have it. Yet, you can't even bring yourself to try. Of course, in my case it's the blonde  
angel that I've been avoiding for the past month. No matter how much I would love to have  
her as my own angel, I can't seem to let go of the past. I can't let go of my lonliness,  
because that's the only thing that has kept me surviving for the past 13 years. It's the  
only thing I've ever knows, since anything before the age of 6 disappeared with my parents.  
  
Still, I'm the only idiot in the world who comes to the same place, at the same time,  
every day of my life. Why? To see her. Before, it was just an unconscious act. My brain  
was trying to get me to realize that I cared about her. Now, now I know how I feel. Still,  
it doesn't help to make the situation better.  
  
"Dare? You alright, buddy? You've been here for the past half hour and haven't   
even touched your coffee. Is something wrong?" Oh the joys of having a best friend. That's  
Andrew if you're wondering. He's either trying to get me to admit my feelings for Serena  
to him, or making me apologize for something I've said to her. Of course most of the things  
out of my mouth have been rude comments. I just can't help it! Whenever she's around me  
the only things that come out are uncaring. Well, except for that night, but I've more than  
made up for that since then. Well, I better answer the man before he starts going crazy on  
me again.  
  
"What? Oh yeah, I'm ok. Just thinking about a midterm coming up in Physics," so it  
was a lie. I don't worry about tests ever. I study, I do the work, I get straight A's.   
Basically I'm boring as hell.  
  
"You're lying to me and you know it. What's really wrong man? C'mon, I'm your best  
friend. Why are you always like this to me?"  
  
"Look Drew. It's nothing of importance. Scratch that. It's nothing you can help  
me with, because right now I have no idea how to help myself. So please, don't bug and   
leave it be alright?"  
  
"Alright. Whatever you say. I'm here if you need anything," he turned around and  
walked away from me. Who would've thought that I would be able to get rid of him that easy?  
Maybe I should keep it up every time, and I won't have to answer to him. Then again, that'll  
never happen.  
  
***************************************************************************************  
  
  
Should I or shouldn't I? To walk into the arcade and face another argument with him,  
or walk home and not see him at all today. Oh the choices to make. 'C'mon Serena. It's  
just Darien. What could he do to you? Call you Meatball Head again? Make fun of the fact  
you're not a great student. Bring up an incident where you klutzed out, or threw something  
at him? Nothing new. Face your fears, walk in there, and ignore him if you have to.'  
  
It's so much easier to tell yourself to do something, than actually doing that. Have  
you ever noticed that? Of course I didn't really think that over, which is how I ended up  
in the position I find myself in at this very moment.  
  
"Meatball Head, can't you ever do anything right?" That would be the object of my  
affection, yep you've got it folks - Darien Shields. What have I done this time? Oh, just  
tripped over my own two feet, therefore falling into the stool he was sitting on. That  
brought him, and his coffee down on me. Well, at least the coffee landed on him. Maybe I  
should just walk around with one of those big signs that state: *Walking Accident - Step  
Away*.   
  
"Sorry Darien, really I am," I tried being nice to him as we untangled ourselves  
from each other. Of course he had to wear a white shirt today didn't he? Just my luck!  
  
"You'd think that somehow, someway you'd learn how to become more graceful. Of   
course, it is you we're talking about. You can't seem to do anything right anymore. Why  
do you even come in here? Huh, Meatball Head? Do you enjoy crashing into me, spilling   
things on me, making my life miserable?"  
  
Ouch. That hurt. Bad.  
  
"Look, I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to, I can't help it. I'm sorry Darien. I'll  
just try to stay away from you forever. I wasn't even trying to crash into you, it just   
happened," ah, yes...here comes the tears. Why, oh why do I always have to cry infront of   
him? Why can't I ever be a strong person? Maybe because everytime I'm around him, I can't  
do anything right. He just makes me feel things I shouldn't.  
  
"Whatever. I'm starting to get sick of your apologies, you know? You always say  
you're sorry, yet you do the same things over and over again. Hasn't anyone taught you   
anything? Oh wait, they've probably tried, but you're just too stupid to understand them.  
Just...just leave me alone!"  
  
"Sorry..." Yep, there's the tears. "I'm just gonna, uhm I'll leave. Tell Andrew  
I said hi, if you want. Yeah right, nevermind...I...Uhm. Bye."  
  
***************************************************************************************  
  
'Dammit Darien, you're a fucking idiot. Why can't you ever be nice to her? And you  
wonder why she could never feel anything for you. You always make her feel miserable. Why  
couldn't you just accept her apology? You know she didn't mean to do that.' Yeah, I'm an  
idiot. I made her run away again. In tears no less. God, why am I just such an asshole?  
  
"What happened out here? What happened to your shirt?" Dammit, it's Drew again.  
  
"Serena."  
  
"Where is she?" He asked looking around trying to find the blonde.  
  
"She left," I replied as nonchalantly as possible.  
  
"Damn you Dare. What'd you do to her again? I swear, you always find someway to  
hurt her, even if you're not trying!" Oh boy, he's pissed. You can see the steam coming   
out of his ears. Wow, and his face couldn't get any more red if it tried.  
  
"Don't you think I know that Drew? Dammit, I don't even know how to be nice to her.  
I thought everything was going to change after she saved my life, but no! Of course not! I  
turn back into the same asshole I was before. God, I'm such an idiot," banging my head  
against the counter I just let it all out.  
  
"Darien...are you alright?"  
  
"No, dammit, no I'm not. You want to know what's wrong with me? I'm in love with   
her! There, that's the big fucking secret I've been holding back from everyone. Hell, I  
held it back from myself for such a long time. I'm in love with a 15-year-old blonde angel,  
and what do I do? I'm a total asshole to her!" I finally look up at Drew, and low and   
behold, he's shocked! He looks like a fish with his mouth hanging open like that, it's quite  
funny. Too bad you can't see it.  
  
"Darien?"  
  
"What Drew? Surprised I actually admitted it? Hasn't it been obvious anyways?  
You've always known, haven't you?" Yeah, here comes the irrational crazy side of myself I've  
been fighting with since God knows how long.  
  
"I always figured. But Dare, what happened? Saved your life? What are you talking  
about?" Thank God there wasn't anyone in the arcade at the moment. Imagine, seeing a crazy  
college man, acting crazy over the fact of being in love.   
  
"God. Fine! Get comfortable, it's a long story...."  
  
------------------------------------------------------------------  
Notes: There's the first chapter. You didn't need to hear me run down what happened, now  
did you? If you really wanted to, you could go and read the first story. Hey! There's a  
thought. Hopefully someone enjoyed this. I don't know if I'll have the next chapter out  
soon or not. I really should be working on "Running Away". Whoops! I just have to figure  
out how to write what I want to. Not like it ever turns out the way it was originally   
planned anyways. Ok, REVIEWS, PLEASE! Maybe I should do what others do...if I don't have  
5-10 reviews, I won't put up the next chapter. *shrugs* Depends on how much you want me  
to continue this. Oh, and my midterm was crap. Good day. 


End file.
